So this job thing isn’t going sooo well. The work is fine, the co-workers are just fine, I genuinely like every single one of them; the problem is the boss. We genuinely don’t get along, he knows it, I know it, it’s awkward. As I’ve noticed there are two ways to get on his good side. One is to be a subservient ass catcher that he can push around and mildly harass; the other is to manipulate him in such a way that he doesn’t realize its happening. I’d opt for the second if it were a possibility but I think I lack that sort of delicate tact, thus far I’ve tried to be as direct as possible saying things like, here’s my problem, this is why I think it’s a problem and here is a compromise that works for me what do you think? He’s mentioned to my co-worker that he thinks I have an attitude problem and has mentioned to me, that he appreciates my hard work but that he thinks that I’m too much of a “my way” sort of person and I’d be much better having people work for me then me work for people. I personally don’t think there’s much truth in that last statement, most people would rather be the employer then the employee but whatever.

I would like to keep working there, I like the place, I like working for a small business owner, I enjoy the customers when I can and enjoy my co-workers, I just don’t want to have a bad relationship with my boss. I’ve been thinking about him for a while and recently came to the conclusion that this is the first time when my direct superior was the person who owned the business, working under a manager is much different then working for the person who is financially invested in the place. Sam isn’t a manager, he’s a business man, every decision he makes is based on profitability. He makes me work Friday and Saturday nights, I have the suspicion that he does that because he knows I’m responsible and hard working enough to keep things running smoothly despite a line up down the street, but he can never actually admit that sort of thing because he knows once I know that he needs me and that he has higher expectations of me then of my other co-workers I’m entitled to some sort of financial compensation, or maybe not. The one thing I do know is that he is a manipulator and always will do what is in his best interest and he’ll lie to you  and withhold that information to reach that goal. The job is a human resources night mare, all day I’ve been able to smell puke, I can’t tell what it is. Maybe I’m rotting.  

So it’s set in stone, or at least internet encrypted stone, University is going to be a five year process. I had some reservations about taking another year, I almost debated taking the remainder of my 36 credits this year just to get it over with but with a little thinking I decided that doing so would probably be a pretty shitty idea; commuting to that school drives me nuts, spending all my time there is a drub and I’m sure my marks would come to reflect the apathy I hold towards that Honour BFA. I still feel it necessary to drop that “Honours” part, yeah whatever I’m going to Art School but at least I’ve got a “b” average GPA. Well, that really wouldn’t even get me into a Law school.

I feel like I’m composed of a weird mix of competing decisions, Finishing my program at York is definitely the first on the agenda, even though I don’t think I’m really growing there as an “artist” anymore and the degree means shit. After I get my shit degree though then what? Do I just become an urban bohemian painter, working shitty jobs, painting in the time I get off, hoping that one day rich people will like what I do and give me too much money for it? Or do I go to college, and try and apply my artistic abilities to something a little more applicable in the employment world. I thought about Illustration, but after 4 years of art school do I really need to go to college for Illustration? Most of the work is free lance anyway so fuck might as well just be a painter. Graphic design, 3D animation, if you can land those jobs, they pay well, but the market is so flooded, and that’s not really what I want to do. Maybe I’ll do that architecture thing, have you seen the pictures of the new Freedom Tower? I could have done better 5 years ago. But then there’s all that Math, I can’t let an undetermined amount of people inhabit something that’s built off my shitty flunked grade 11 math skills.

Living off $800 dollars isn’t the worst thing as everyone who reads this pretty much does the same thing, but there are a lot of money things I’d like to have one day, a house that isn’t full of mice, vacations and a fridge that isn’t shared with 4 other people. Maybe I want these things because I don’t get a blissful euphoria from simply painting. Maybe the people, who do paint, only care about painting, and nothing else matters in their life as long as they have the supplies and time to do so. Although if I ever did meet in person someone who claimed this, there’s no way I could believe them, real people don’t think like that. They would probably be the kind of person to wear a scarf despite the temperature being 32 degrees.

God this house is cold in the morning, freezing. Well it’s not even morning, it’s mid day and as I sit here in my pyjamas and house coat I’m shivering! Shivering in May! The real problem is I’m not sure what I prefer, It’s too easy to sleep in so late every day, There’s no sunlight creeping through my window, and above my sheets the air is cold and crisp, the other option being that it’s so warm and humid I have to go to bed soaking wet with my fan blowing on me just to knock myself out only to awake in the stuffy heat again.  I think my body is just too smart to wake up any earlier, it knows that under this pile of sheets and curled into the corner I am warm and comfy, but as soon as I throw that first sheet back I have to step into the cold. Recently I’ve been waking up at 10 or so, an almost respectable time to be getting up but then I open my eyes look at my clock and decide I might as well just sleep for a little while longer and then magically that little while longer becomes 12:30, boy can I sleep.  It worries me sometimes though, regularly sleeping for 10 hours can’t be that healthy, I’m cozy as hell for a third of each 24 hour period but It seems to make me a very drowsy person, 5:00pm roles around and If I’m not cautious ( no laying down on the sofa) it quickly becomes nap time.

I’m pretty certain I had a vegetarian dream the other day, There was a blue sheep that I was pretty good pals with until some sheep farmers took him shaved him and put him in some pen to await become lamb chops, I saved him, it was pretty easy to do because he talked and he still had some blur wool hanging on to his skin in patches.

The four reasons as to why I like Eastern Europeans.

The number one reason as to why I like Eastern Europeans is their diet, based on my previous experience of eating at touristy restaurants in the main part of the largest European Capitals and dinning at novelty schnitzel joints in the GTA, I can safely say that every Eastern European meal involves, two different varieties of sausage, some form of honey glazed ham thinly sliced, sour kraut, perogies, dumplings, green beans, sour cream and paprika. I’m fairly certain that paprika is completely flavourless; sometimes I put it in things that it should never be in, like pink lemonade just to see if anyone notices. So far no one has ever realized that I’ve been spiking food and drinks with paprika which leads me to the final conclusion that it is a placebo spice that in all fairness is still a pretty colour.

Reason the second, Eastern Europeans are tough as shit, there does not exist a translative word for peace in Bulgarian, Hungarian, Serbian, Czech, Polish or Ukrainian. If Eastern Europeans aren’t kicking Greeks and Romans out of their business they’re getting picked on by asshole Russians who had nothing better to do then devise a government system that will never work and then force it on all the counties  they are jealous of because their sea access isn’t frozen 10 months of the year.

 The third, Eastern Europeans really like to smoke, it’s not because they smoke that I think they are cool, it’s that they smoke like 3 packs a day, babies are born with a pack of pall malls but everyone still lives to be 110, because there just too tough for Cancer.

The Fourth, Eastern European Women are babes and readily available on the Internet.

Two seasons have gone by and I never made an LJ post. I miss LJ’s glory days, the days when one could make a post and expect comments to flood in before the sunset, because let’s be honest that’s what this entire community is based on, a limited directional virtual re-creation of actual conversation. Maybe not for all but definitely for myself, the advantage of LJ conversations being that each side is given the proper opportunity to express themselves before the other party sharply cuts them off and replies with little to no regard for what has been just said... What’s this post about... I don’t really have any idea...

I’m sort of sick of acrylic painting; I miss drawing so I spent 80 bucks on water colour paper and paint. I thought that watercolour might be a good middle ground, allows me the freedom to draw, gives it the finished professionalism that colour provides but takes a 1/8 of the time. I have lots of time; I’m just terrible at doing one thing for more than an hour, (holy shit, I’ve already used two semi-colons).  The water colours are going to be a combination of b-movie; horror, science fiction, pop sexuality and vague uninformed politics. So ah, monsters in bikini’s and Robot Doctors, my theory is If I invest enough ironic value into it maybe someone will confuse my immaturity for a post modern depth.

Hmm, new paragraph, entirely new thought, so now that I think I’ll start consistently writing in this thing again, I’ll have to start talking notice of anything I can turn into an interesting post. That’s the hardest part, making this thing worth reading for anyone other than myself in two months time. I imagine I’ll be able to pull some interesting post from my work at the ice cream shanty, although I never did really pull anything from ice cultures but that job was somewhat depressing, working at a 3 million dollar wedding is weird, you’re not sure if you feel superior or inferior to those people.  I mean on one hand, they are all soulless black hearted monsters who don’t seem to think it’s wrong to spend 60,000 dollars on a seafood bar made of ice but then on the other hand, crab legs are delicious, what do you do.

The summer is over, the girls are gone and the lads are soon to be reunited once Mike makes his prodigal move in tonight. It’s been a long a long 4 months, a long four months that I greatly anticipated ending soon.  In retrospect I wish I hadn’t, waiting for summer to end only did one thing, ruin summer, but as unhappy was I was about my living conditions I came away with some gained knowledge of people, of life and how it’s definitely worth it to screen your future tenants before you share a house with them. I suppose that’s pretty obvious to most people, but we were in a time crunch when he offered them the house, the situation was live with the strangers or we would not get the house.

 But the summer is over, aside from a few fermenting banana’s, some coffee stains and a roach infestation that should be cleared out soon, (I’m absolutely positive that the only reason we have roaches is because of the 3^rd world condition the kitchen was constantly left in) things are okay around here.

 As for myself I’ve learned I’m an extremely tidy person in comparison to kids my own age, take that Mom! And that I’m probably a little bit OC (obsessive compulsive not Orange County).  Which is probably one of the easier disorders to self diagnose, I mean, how many people honestly claim to have a disorder that forces them to sweep the kitchen 5 times a day? It’s one thing to say you suffer from ADD or Depression; it doesn’t really result in any more work, or effort. But Obsessive Compulsive takes some exertion.

 I’ve learned that people can be both stupid and self righteous, probably the most tedious combination.  I was resented for asking people to lock doors at night, to clean their recyclables before they tossed them in the bin, to not leave dirty plates in their rooms as we already have a mouse problem, for paying their bills for them and for cleaning up after them constantly. Well I’m not 100% sure of any of these exactly, I know I was complained about but the only interaction I had with the room mates were under the aforementioned circumstances.

 So either way, I was much happier this summer when I was away from the house, but the feeling around the shire today feels as good as it did when we first got the place. Things are about to be restored to their rightful state; I get to live with my good friends, no more cramped TV watching in bedrooms,  no more chick peas in the sink, no more pretentious hipsters congregating in the living room, in conclusion September you will rock.

Ten Reasons Gay Marriage is Un-American

I saw this posted on a BBS -- there was no attribution.

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

It’s starting to become a little more and more obvious that being an artist is pretty lonely, actually it’s really lonely. I don’t actually know if it’s because I’m an artist that I’m lonely, I’m certainly sick of spending hours by myself drawing so there must be something more to my current predicament that would justify my depression, because I am legitimately not all that happy at the moment.  I don’t even know what it is, It’s been months of unrest, of just genuinely feeling weird, out of place and spaced out.

Time has become such a strange thing, I don’t have any chronological sense, everything is just such a hazy blur of past events, days are inseparable, last Sunday feels as though it didn’t even exist, and June seems to have been entirely wiped out from my memory, I remember that there was a June, and that I did things in June, but I can’t for the life of me remember anything specific that actually happened, and if I manage to it’s because I concentrate on it.

I’ve made a couple post around this same sort of subject, but I genuinely feel like I’m sort of losing my mind, not in a end up on the streets wearing a purple towel kind of way, but like I’m turning into a vegetable.

A few things that I have quickly learned in my short time as a Toronto driver,

A list by Joshua Douglas Pogue.  

1)       First off, Cabbies really are dicks. If you’re talking to someone who hates cabbies and you think their hate may be unjustified it probably isn’t. Well assuming they just don’t hate them because they aren’t white. But cabbies will cut you off, block intersections, and hold up traffic for their sole benefit.

2)      A nice car, anyone who drives a really nice car, is probably a dick, and is going to drive like a dick. They also drive much like cabbies. The only difference being the cabbie drives the way he does only to maximize his profit, the dick in the nice car drives like a cabbie, just because he is a dick.

3)      Vans, vans are like the fat kid on the school yard; they get teased and pushed around by the faster sportier kids. Vans you can usually trust to actually follow the rules of the road, but they are likely going to drive 10km under the speed limit. Oh, I should point out this only includes mini-vans, any sort of big white van, meant for deliveries or like a plumbers van is going to drive like a dick.

4)      Those signs that say “you can only turn right between so and so time” are entirely for tourist, as far as I’ve noticed no one seems to give a shit about those in any real regard.

5)      Street car tracks. Stay away from those things; it’s like driving on metal ice that’s been coated in 15 years of grease, gas and oil.

6)      When a street says no parking, and you don’t have a parking pass, man you better not park. In just a week or so, I amassed enough tickets to cover legal street parking for a year.

7)      Not letting people in is super satisfying. If you see someone cutting around corners and blasting in front of people only to get stuck behind a car, whizzing by them as they frantically try and squeeze out of their self created asshole predicament can be extremely satisfying.

8)      Don’t bother honking or flipping anyone off, it’s not going to get through to anyone, all they are going to do is flip and honk back, and if you’re super lucky get out of their car to yell at you.

9)      Downtown garages are crooks, if you need something done go back home to get it done.

10)   The more duct tape on your car, the less people are going to fuck with you.

Mittens and scarfs
Jackets and snow
These are some things that do not blow
My skin is so hot
I think it’s starting to glow
Oh God Summer, how I hate you so.

 Sleeping is torment
And eating a chore
Summer you are a dirty Taiwanese whore

 Fuck this heat, and fuck its power
I’m sick of taking cold cold showers

 If only a/c was meant for the poor
 I would not feel like green manure

 October come quick
We need your cold
Before I get pissed and break your dental mould