So it’s set in stone, or at least internet encrypted stone, University is going to be a five year process. I had some reservations about taking another year, I almost debated taking the remainder of my 36 credits this year just to get it over with but with a little thinking I decided that doing so would probably be a pretty shitty idea; commuting to that school drives me nuts, spending all my time there is a drub and I’m sure my marks would come to reflect the apathy I hold towards that Honour BFA. I still feel it necessary to drop that “Honours” part, yeah whatever I’m going to Art School but at least I’ve got a “b” average GPA. Well, that really wouldn’t even get me into a Law school.

I feel like I’m composed of a weird mix of competing decisions, Finishing my program at York is definitely the first on the agenda, even though I don’t think I’m really growing there as an “artist” anymore and the degree means shit. After I get my shit degree though then what? Do I just become an urban bohemian painter, working shitty jobs, painting in the time I get off, hoping that one day rich people will like what I do and give me too much money for it? Or do I go to college, and try and apply my artistic abilities to something a little more applicable in the employment world. I thought about Illustration, but after 4 years of art school do I really need to go to college for Illustration? Most of the work is free lance anyway so fuck might as well just be a painter. Graphic design, 3D animation, if you can land those jobs, they pay well, but the market is so flooded, and that’s not really what I want to do. Maybe I’ll do that architecture thing, have you seen the pictures of the new Freedom Tower? I could have done better 5 years ago. But then there’s all that Math, I can’t let an undetermined amount of people inhabit something that’s built off my shitty flunked grade 11 math skills.

Living off $800 dollars isn’t the worst thing as everyone who reads this pretty much does the same thing, but there are a lot of money things I’d like to have one day, a house that isn’t full of mice, vacations and a fridge that isn’t shared with 4 other people. Maybe I want these things because I don’t get a blissful euphoria from simply painting. Maybe the people, who do paint, only care about painting, and nothing else matters in their life as long as they have the supplies and time to do so. Although if I ever did meet in person someone who claimed this, there’s no way I could believe them, real people don’t think like that. They would probably be the kind of person to wear a scarf despite the temperature being 32 degrees.